He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
