And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
