Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize