We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
