I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
