Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
