I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
