no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
