CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
