Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize