I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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