Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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