She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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