but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
