oh god the rape fog is back!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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