once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There are leaves in my underwear?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
