I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
