Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
