Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
