Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
