If that was your dad, he is hot
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
