Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize