i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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