I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize