accomplished twins. life is a go
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have aggressive nipples.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
