I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
