ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
