You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
