I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
