oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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