Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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