My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
