This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
