you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
