just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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