Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
