Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
