you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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