Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
