Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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