Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
