i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
