before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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