"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize