He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
