from now on my penis is your penis
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
