She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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