I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
