and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
