I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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