so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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