U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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