You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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