I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
barbara walters just said penis...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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