Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Found the puke drawer
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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