Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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