I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
