when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
