if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
