i would punch a child for taco bell
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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