dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize