her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize