Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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