i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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